We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
