Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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