I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
