I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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