She said her name was "party"
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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