And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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