Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
