How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
