glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
It was confusing and full of hummus
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
