Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
