can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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