I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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