dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
