seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
