I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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