I just made out with a guy for $7.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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