I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
