I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
