But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
