Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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