when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
