to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
