So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
