This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
