i need an iv and a liver transplant
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
