I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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