Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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