just tell him i said nine months
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
