i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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