1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
