3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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