the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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