You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
