Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
whose ass print is on the piano?
NoShamevember. You game?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
