why didn't you poke me back
I am full of burrito and curiosity
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
