I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
