if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
