Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
