we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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