I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
