You really coming over, don't trick.
I wish I only lived at night.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
