why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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