I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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