just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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