Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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