Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
