No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
