at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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