so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
