going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
