Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
